I am seeing Peter express hope, hope for school, hope for bettering relationships, and hope at better social skills. Peter says, "Mom I think it might be better if I get off the bus at Christian's bus stop (this is a stop 1 1/2 blocks away) and walk home from there" when I asked why he wanted to do this, thinking it was a manipulation move to have move play time with Christian, he said, "well if I get home sooner, I can start on my homework sooner."
Okay then we will try it.
Of all the differences so far, judging the distractability I find most difficult. Homework this past week was light due to it being Thanksgiving week, so this will be a key area to see improvement on for next week. But the hope is there. What is not there is his appetite? The vitamins and supplements seem to have drastically decreased his appetite. He is eating very lite or skipping meals all together. He starts phase II on 11/30.
So far: sleep - better, listening skills - better, hopefulness - better, & coping skills - better.
Saturday, November 27, 2010
11/24/10 Thanksgiving Eve
Boys had off from school today. So I decided since life was going in a good direction and I thought I could handle it well, I planned a road trip...well a train trip.
First we went by train into the city and then over to Hoboken to meet Dave for lunch. We passed by "The Cake Boss" bakery on our way to 5 Guys for a burger lunch. All going so far so good. First test, the boys want to get a bakery treat, since we as such Buddy fans and we watch the show as a family the boys really wanted to go in and order a treat, however the line is down the block and across the street. So we take pictures outside and move on...no meltdowns...umm.
Next I take the boys back to the city and we cruise on over to 81st and 77th st to see the Thanksgiving balloons being filled with helium. This is pretty cool, but also cold and we are starting with the "getting tired" signals. So we walk through and even see the new Wimpy Kid balloon make our way back to the subway and goto 42nd street. I put our names on the waitlist for dinner and go across the street to Toys R Us. The boys are really wowed. They could have stayed there all night. They reasonably agreed to not want to wait for the ferris wheel ride and make there way up to the Lego area. They Dave met us with a big surprise... he went back over to Buddy's Bakery after work and there was no line so there he was with a Buddy bag, and cake box. The boys were thrilled. We walked over to BubbaGumps for Dinner and went home all together. All in all it was a great day, not one meltdown...hummm
First we went by train into the city and then over to Hoboken to meet Dave for lunch. We passed by "The Cake Boss" bakery on our way to 5 Guys for a burger lunch. All going so far so good. First test, the boys want to get a bakery treat, since we as such Buddy fans and we watch the show as a family the boys really wanted to go in and order a treat, however the line is down the block and across the street. So we take pictures outside and move on...no meltdowns...umm.
Next I take the boys back to the city and we cruise on over to 81st and 77th st to see the Thanksgiving balloons being filled with helium. This is pretty cool, but also cold and we are starting with the "getting tired" signals. So we walk through and even see the new Wimpy Kid balloon make our way back to the subway and goto 42nd street. I put our names on the waitlist for dinner and go across the street to Toys R Us. The boys are really wowed. They could have stayed there all night. They reasonably agreed to not want to wait for the ferris wheel ride and make there way up to the Lego area. They Dave met us with a big surprise... he went back over to Buddy's Bakery after work and there was no line so there he was with a Buddy bag, and cake box. The boys were thrilled. We walked over to BubbaGumps for Dinner and went home all together. All in all it was a great day, not one meltdown...hummm
11/22/10 - One week on the Supplements and Vitamins
So its been one week on phase one of the recommended supplements and vitamins and... well as Dave sat on the couch over the weekend, we almost did not want to bring up the topic, fearing the jinx. The conversation started, "do you think its possible to see a difference already?" We know we don't want our optimism to cloud our judgement, we want to keep it real.
The facts: he is sleeping better, not because he is stating such because he is not complaining of fatigue and body aches. On Wednesday Peter wrote a note to his teacher on a sticky pad that he knows he did not do well on the 1st marking period of his report card, but he is looking forward to the rest of the year, and he enjoys having her as his teacher. Ms. G also wrote to us that Peter had a TERRIFIC week and yes she used all caps. Dave and I seem to have a lot more patience with him and I think this is helping as well with everyone stress levels. Peter seems to be very affectionate, he is hugging and kissing. I agree with the social worker in that this is Peters way of saying "thank you" Thank you for caring, thank you for helping. I have found renewed empathy in everything I do and say, with the kids and with Dave. Peter seems to give thought before speaking and he is also opening up to the suggestions of others, where as before he just opposed any advice given. So now we need to decipher is he having ADHD symptomology or 10 year old symptomology. There is also less arguing in general between Peter and his brother, not that they quarreled often but often enough and I see a difference there as well. Chris seems less frustrated by Peter, maybe that is noteworthy as well. Well one week down and ...rest of life to go.
The facts: he is sleeping better, not because he is stating such because he is not complaining of fatigue and body aches. On Wednesday Peter wrote a note to his teacher on a sticky pad that he knows he did not do well on the 1st marking period of his report card, but he is looking forward to the rest of the year, and he enjoys having her as his teacher. Ms. G also wrote to us that Peter had a TERRIFIC week and yes she used all caps. Dave and I seem to have a lot more patience with him and I think this is helping as well with everyone stress levels. Peter seems to be very affectionate, he is hugging and kissing. I agree with the social worker in that this is Peters way of saying "thank you" Thank you for caring, thank you for helping. I have found renewed empathy in everything I do and say, with the kids and with Dave. Peter seems to give thought before speaking and he is also opening up to the suggestions of others, where as before he just opposed any advice given. So now we need to decipher is he having ADHD symptomology or 10 year old symptomology. There is also less arguing in general between Peter and his brother, not that they quarreled often but often enough and I see a difference there as well. Chris seems less frustrated by Peter, maybe that is noteworthy as well. Well one week down and ...rest of life to go.
11/17/10 - The Neurologist
So 3 days, 3 doctor appointments...wow. So to complete the trifecta we consult with a neurologist...because if one believes one has an impending diagnosis of ADHD one goes to a neurologist...correct? So we go, the 3 of us, Dave, Peter, and myself. First of all the office seems to be undergoing some sort of paranormal activity in that the lights are fluttered in such a way I am concerned one of the patients whom very likely in this office could have a seizure disorder, will break out into a grand mal seizure at any moment. Dave is thinking this is some sort of test, and I am thinking, I am failing whatever this guy is testing me on. Anywho the lights continue to blink and stagger as this nice doctor provides the verbal assessment. He asks Peter a series of questions, reviews the teachers answers of a questionnaire, gives Peter a quick Neuro check, and then hands us over a script for some ADHD drug and says "he will be better tomorrow." He then goes on to give Peter a computer test which will gauge his distractability. Well we could hear his distractability from 4 rooms away. Dave and I sat stunned in the waiting room...not because we were told by a Neurologist our son has ADHD but shocked because he handed over a prescription after a 20 minute evaluation. One has to go to their Internist 3 times with a fever, green mucus coming out of every orifice, and pneumonia before one can receive an antibiotic and this guy is prescribing a mood altering medication like it is a multivitamin. I know we went to him for help and advice and now that I have gotten what I asked for I am not sure this makes common sense to us. This is not denial...it's logic.
The doctor stated that ADHD does not have a diagnostic test, it is diagnosed based on verbal assessment, genetics, and response to medication. It disturbed my core of being not that he did not do an "ADHD test" but that he did not order some testing to rule out any other possible explanation for the behaviors. Is he such an incredible evaluator that he can diagnosis and rule out all other possibilities in 20 minutes? Well maybe...but I believe in my core there could be another way. If medication is the end result, so be it, but I believe there is more to the story and am not willing yet to commit to this treatment recommendation at this time.
The doctor stated that ADHD does not have a diagnostic test, it is diagnosed based on verbal assessment, genetics, and response to medication. It disturbed my core of being not that he did not do an "ADHD test" but that he did not order some testing to rule out any other possible explanation for the behaviors. Is he such an incredible evaluator that he can diagnosis and rule out all other possibilities in 20 minutes? Well maybe...but I believe in my core there could be another way. If medication is the end result, so be it, but I believe there is more to the story and am not willing yet to commit to this treatment recommendation at this time.
11/16/10 Second Opinion
So we met with Dr Reilly a paediatrician in Commack whom has an ADHD evaluation center within his practice. It took several weeks to obtain an appointment with him but interesting that it comes on the day after results day with Dr DeNise. He requested a consultation without Peter present to obtain the pertinent information. We meet for over an hour and he seemed to have a genuine interest interest in ADD/ADHD. He was happy to see the bloodwork already done and wanted a few more tests run...That should make Peter so happy :( He also request a full psychological exam, a computer test, and a sleep study. I really do not want the school involved with the psychological exam so I will need to research how else to obtain this assessment. I am interested in finding out his IQ and Dr Reilly wanted to rule out an other learning disabilities although one could argue that all children with ADHD have learning disabilities, they just go hand in hand. A lot more information and that is just the way I fell, I am on the hunter gatherer mission portion of this journey. Which way will this journey lead...
Sunday, November 21, 2010
11/15/10 Results with Dr DeNise
Well Peter knew this was the day to get all the bloodwork results with Dr DeNise for he needed to be picked up from school after only arriving 1.5 hours earlier. I knew it was going to be a rough day, the mornign was really rough. He seemed "off" and very anxious. So sure enough the nurse called and said she has a very handsome 5th grader with her and a very uncompelling story as to why he should go home. He complained to her of a backache, exhaustion, and other "benign symptoms" and since he is not a frequent flyer into her office, she entertained him in calling me. I explained what Peter has been going through and asked to speak with him. I explained to him this would not be a treat to come home and he was still responsible for getting his school and home work done. He was tired when he arrived home and rested for a long while then with the usual trial after trial the work slowly got done.
We went to pick up Dave at the train station and went onto to the doctors office. Chris came along this time, he saved up doing his homework, so he would have something to do there and of course the DS also was in hand.
Dr DeNise went over all the results carefully and meticulously. The blood work showed very low levels of Vit D, Vit C, and elevated levels of Aluminum. Not metal toxicity levels but an elevation none the less. So ultimately for these areas. Increase Vit D to 2000IU at night, and add buffered 500 Calcium 2x/day. And for the Aluminum, change over our pots to enamelled cast iron or stainless steel, and be aware of how often foods are store in Aluminum. Interesting.
Next was the look into the urine test which looked at the neurotransmitters, and low and behold nearly all of these were elevated or low. The diagram which demonstrated these results yielded symptoms that matched Peters. Ultimately the recommendation is for 3 supplements including Kavinace 2x/day, an evening spray, and after 2 weeks we add the 3rd supplement. The supplements will shift a balance and alleviate the symptoms. The doctor explains to Dave's question, what happens after the balance is achieved: she states one comes off the supplements. I simply cannot wrap my head around this, does this mean that once balance is achieved one is cured?
We will see, we are cautiously optimistic.
We went to pick up Dave at the train station and went onto to the doctors office. Chris came along this time, he saved up doing his homework, so he would have something to do there and of course the DS also was in hand.
Dr DeNise went over all the results carefully and meticulously. The blood work showed very low levels of Vit D, Vit C, and elevated levels of Aluminum. Not metal toxicity levels but an elevation none the less. So ultimately for these areas. Increase Vit D to 2000IU at night, and add buffered 500 Calcium 2x/day. And for the Aluminum, change over our pots to enamelled cast iron or stainless steel, and be aware of how often foods are store in Aluminum. Interesting.
Next was the look into the urine test which looked at the neurotransmitters, and low and behold nearly all of these were elevated or low. The diagram which demonstrated these results yielded symptoms that matched Peters. Ultimately the recommendation is for 3 supplements including Kavinace 2x/day, an evening spray, and after 2 weeks we add the 3rd supplement. The supplements will shift a balance and alleviate the symptoms. The doctor explains to Dave's question, what happens after the balance is achieved: she states one comes off the supplements. I simply cannot wrap my head around this, does this mean that once balance is achieved one is cured?
We will see, we are cautiously optimistic.
Wednesday, October 20, 2010
So what is an intregrated practitioner
So if one has not heard of one, one should. Last evening we started with a plan after a 2 hour consultation with Dr D. Now for figuring out how we will get all that blood work accomplished. Really it was an in depth fact finding mission. Really want to speed up the next 2 weeks until all the results are in.
Wednesday, October 13, 2010
The Reality
So as we near the reality I feel as if we will be designated to hear I diagnosis of Attention Deficit. I know it could be so much worse of something to hear and come to gripes with. I called my brother yesterday whom was diagnosed with the same as a young child and still feels to this day he is challenged with ADHD, and his insight was incredible. He warned to cautiously use wording. He described knowing that he was different than others. But to use the word "special" to him meant so much more and he also expressed that if a subject was ordinary, than that topic just was not worth the effort. Subjects that are hands on or something new was all the difference. He told stories of how he did not feel medication helped him in his mind but might have helped with his hyperactivity. I spent the entire day yesterday, searching for the best practitioners to reach out to and support groups to surround our family with.
For Peter today was a day where as soon as he came home we had to immediately go back up to school again to collect all his homework. And then the homework went on and on and on...
I feel Dave is coming to gripes with this as well and where I once believed he was in a state of denial I feel he is dealing with Peter in a different light and having compassion for what I am trying to do with Peter during the days. He still cannot tell though like I can when Peter is seeming acknowledging the discussion when in reality I can tell his mind is somewhere else and he has no clue to the discussion involving him.
For Peter today was a day where as soon as he came home we had to immediately go back up to school again to collect all his homework. And then the homework went on and on and on...
I feel Dave is coming to gripes with this as well and where I once believed he was in a state of denial I feel he is dealing with Peter in a different light and having compassion for what I am trying to do with Peter during the days. He still cannot tell though like I can when Peter is seeming acknowledging the discussion when in reality I can tell his mind is somewhere else and he has no clue to the discussion involving him.
Monday, October 11, 2010
Since you are unemployed ....
Chris, while doing in reading log assignments told me since I am unemployed I should fill out his homework..."ah what now?". Are you kidding me? I'll sign where it says parent signature, but that is all. By all, I mean, check the homework, correct the homework, check the backpack, read the agenda, remove all old papers, review sent home work, sift through all the pta handouts and other announcements, and write checks to the pta and school for all the start of year activities ( I swear I do not write as many checks throughout the entire year as I do for Sept & Oct.) Then let me see...make breakfast, take out clothing, start a wash, empty the dishwasher, gather a snack, double check backpacks, check to see all brushed teeth and washed. Of course there is breakfast as well and a kiss goodbye for Dad. This is all done before 7:30am. Then just in case Chris you thought I did not "work" during the day I could give details but for right now I think all gets the picture. Not sure how I ever managed it all, but that's just it I probably was not handling it all very well. I did my best.
Saturday, October 9, 2010
The Living Room Meeting
Although this blog will chronicle our challenges in raising boys, I will also try to blog on the memorable moments. Peter joined a new Weblow den last night. For right now he is the only one in his grade so he joined the jr. weblows. Last nights first meeting objective was to create a patrol name and review new materials they need to memorize. One child said if its a "Den meeting why are we meeting in the Living Room" ..."our patrol name should be Living Room Patrol"... they finally decided to name themselves the Jedi Patrol.
Friday, October 8, 2010
What is wrong... what did I do wrong
10/8/10
Its amazing I constructed this blog one year ago and never wrote a post until today.
I brought Peter (10 yr old) to the doctor yesterday for a hearing test and after hearing the results were "normal" I knew we needed to go to the next step. Peter has always been an old soul. Wise beyond his years and brilliant...so what is wrong. Peter has always experienced coping issues and distraction but now he is so counter productive, we need help. Is it that he has a cognitive issue... I thought that when I asked him if he wanted milk in his cereal and he replied, "what does a coconut have to do with it?"? Is it that its a hyperactive thing? Is it an over stimulation thing" This is Peter: Exhausted all the time, inability to focus, inability to let old feelings go, inability to follow multi step directions, very loud, feeling "wrong in the head", tons of excuses, poor grades, teachers feeling as if he is giving a poor effort or not working to full potential, and out in out disrespectful to his mother, everything is a battle. This is ME: I used to yell, scream, threaten, punish, and discipline, about 1 year ago I stopped all of it and just gave love until on some days utter frustration sets in and then all hell breaks loose and I need a Mommy time out. For the most part he recognizes at the end of the day he was acting out and being disrespectful. He will apologize, give me the sweetest hug, tell me he loves me but almost immediately after the embrace ends the next round of the same begins. Its exhausting, maybe it is for him as well and that is why he is so tired. Monday, Columbus Day we meet with a social worker and mid November he will be evaluated by a pediatric neurologist. Come along with me on this journey and I look forward to hearing your stories on how we can keep our family together, productive, and happy.
Its amazing I constructed this blog one year ago and never wrote a post until today.
I brought Peter (10 yr old) to the doctor yesterday for a hearing test and after hearing the results were "normal" I knew we needed to go to the next step. Peter has always been an old soul. Wise beyond his years and brilliant...so what is wrong. Peter has always experienced coping issues and distraction but now he is so counter productive, we need help. Is it that he has a cognitive issue... I thought that when I asked him if he wanted milk in his cereal and he replied, "what does a coconut have to do with it?"? Is it that its a hyperactive thing? Is it an over stimulation thing" This is Peter: Exhausted all the time, inability to focus, inability to let old feelings go, inability to follow multi step directions, very loud, feeling "wrong in the head", tons of excuses, poor grades, teachers feeling as if he is giving a poor effort or not working to full potential, and out in out disrespectful to his mother, everything is a battle. This is ME: I used to yell, scream, threaten, punish, and discipline, about 1 year ago I stopped all of it and just gave love until on some days utter frustration sets in and then all hell breaks loose and I need a Mommy time out. For the most part he recognizes at the end of the day he was acting out and being disrespectful. He will apologize, give me the sweetest hug, tell me he loves me but almost immediately after the embrace ends the next round of the same begins. Its exhausting, maybe it is for him as well and that is why he is so tired. Monday, Columbus Day we meet with a social worker and mid November he will be evaluated by a pediatric neurologist. Come along with me on this journey and I look forward to hearing your stories on how we can keep our family together, productive, and happy.
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